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Parenting Moments That Make You Say…SH-T!

05/26/2012

First off, I want to start by saying I love my daughter and it is a joy to stay at home and take care of her.  That being said, here are the reasons she makes me yell “SH-T”. Every parent will agree with and relate to this list because it’s happened to all of us.  I’m sure it’s happened to parents as far back as the cavemen (although they probably bashed themselves with a club….which I don’t condone).  These are moments that are expected when becoming a parent but still get you mad when they happen. I use the word “Sh-t” but you can substitute your own word; whatever rolls off the tongue. Also (as I have said on other blogs), don’t take out your frustrations on the child. One thing is yelling “internally”; another is yelling at your kid. Just sayin’. Anyway, on to the list (in no particular order)….

  1. Waking from a nap at the wrong time: You put the baby down for a nap. You’re done cleaning or doing stuff around the house. You sit down by the computer to check who has de-friended you on Facebook and of course….the baby wakes up. SH-T!
  2. The missed diaper: You change the baby’s diaper and before you have a chance to put a new one, they pee or poop all over. Must be worse for boys since they have a directional stream. Either way….SH-T! (By the way, I hate when people say that having a baby poop on you is good luck. I think they should be slapped with a dirty diaper. Just my opinion)
  3. The diaper surprise: You just finished changing the baby’s diaper. They play for 10 seconds and sure enough you smell something so foul, it must have radiated from the depths of Hell. The baby pooped after JUST getting changed. SH-T!
  4. The no-look food everywhere surprise: The baby is in a high chair. She just finished eating one food item. You turn your head to grab something else and before you know it; your baby grabs the food bowl and throws it to the ground. Food is everywhere and the baby is, of course, cracking up. SH-T!
  5. The wet t-shirt: (Don’t get excited gentlemen. It ain’t that kind of party) You pick your baby up and as you walk you feel something wet on your shirt. Sure enough; your baby has pee all over the lower half of their body. Not only do you have to change the baby’s outfit, you have to change yours as well. SH-T!
  6. Silence is never golden: You are sitting on the couch reading “Fifty Shades of Grey”. The book has put you in a trance. When you’re brain finally snaps out of it you realize that it’s pretty quiet…a little too quiet. You look up and notice your little rocket scientist took off the child safety cover on an outlet and is playing with the holes. SH-T!
  7. What’s in her mouth?:  As you are “discussing” with your spouse “who’s turn it is it give the baby a bath”, your child skips along like Dorothy in Oz. Upon further inspection, you noticed that your jolly child is chewing on something. Of course you ask your spouse “What’s in her mouth? Did you give her something?” Once you realize it’s probably not food, you have to frantically pry that little mouth open. SH-T!

There it is….my “Sh-t List”.  I’m sure many of you can add more to the list. In fact, you should. Tell me what is on your “Sh-T List”. Don’t be shy. No one will call DCFS on you (unless we have to).  Every parent has those moments. Doesn’t mean you don’t love your kids…just means you are frustrated and have to say “SH-T!

*By the way, my daughter did #1 and #3 today…

Artistic WC

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