Manly Stay-at-Home Father’s Guide: Dressing Your Daughter

I’m going to take a lot of heat for this one but I’m going to say it anyway. Most people won’t agree with me…but it must be told. I’m going to teach you how to properly dress your daughter.  You might be thinking, “How do I make my daughter look ‘cute’?” Don’t fret, because here is your instruction guide. I suggest referring to the previous post “Manly Stay-at-Home Father’s Guide: Combing Your Daughter’s Hair” for any hair inquiries. The important part of the process is to stay calm. Your baby won’t like a freaked out Daddy. This guide will help you with baby girls that are a few months to about 18 months…maybe beyond.  Without further adieu, here is the guide:

1. Check out the Closet – Survey your daughter’s closet situation. Look at each outfit. Examine how it will go on. Is there snaps? Zippers? Rope? Once you know what you’re working with, pick the easiest one. Now close the closet. That’s right. You’re not going with the outfit you chose. No. No. Just wait.
2. Open the Drawer – More than likely you have a drawer with onsies and sweat pants. If you need any evidence of God it’s the “onesie”. These magical pieces of clothing are the greatest thing to hit stay-at-home parenting. It is incredibly easy to put on and you only have to snap the bottom. If you want something that is easy to take off so you can change diapers faster, it’s the onesie. Choose one and put it on your baby. Which color? That’s the great thing…you’re alone so you can choose which ever one you want!
3. Accessories – Don’t put any on. Onsie (and sweatpants, depending on weather) is all you need. Think about it. When her diaper is full do you want to be fumbling with some accessories? Of course not. Your mission is ease of use. Whatever makes changing diapers faster is what you should go with.
4. Don’t Take Pictures – Contrary to my last “Guide”, this time you’re not going to take pictures of her in her (probably) miss matched outfit. Trust me…you will get yelled at for not “dressing” her up. So don’t have evidence of your mission.
5. Time it right – Figure out what time your spouse comes home. Figure out how long it takes you to put a “closet outfit” on your baby (See step #1). Refer to my last “Guide” for combing hair. Time it just right, so when your spouse comes home she sees a “dressed up” baby.

If you do all of these steps correctly, you will have a “diaper efficient” day all while your spouse thinks your little girl has been dressed up all day. You might be wondering, “But Mr. Blogger, if your wife reads this blog, won’t she know your secret?” You are right. I’m giving away trade secrets at the risk of a verbal beating from my wife. So make my future “beating” worth it and spread the word.

ArtisticWC