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Manly Stay-at-Home Father’s Guide: Combing Your Daughter’s Hair

02/28/2012

The day has come for you to comb your daughter’s knot filled hair. Your wife (or any female) is not around and you can no longer coast on the glory days of having a bald baby. I was frightened too. It’s scary to think about…but FEAR NOT; I will help you through it. Here is the process I go through when combing my daughter’s hair:

  1. Add lots of water – There is something magical in water that makes combing a baby’s hair easier. I think it’s somewhere between the H and the O. (refer to any chemistry book for correct formula)
  2. Choose proper comb – This depends on your daughter’s hair. If she is like my daughter then you’re dealing with some curly coarse hair…and any comb will be of equal difficulty. If your daughter’s hair is straight than you have it easy (at least I assume so because I’ve only dealt with curly hair…see previous sentence). I use a coarse brush for my daughter. I find that the knots come out a little easier with the many bristles of the brush. I found this out through many mistakes of using hard combs…at the expense of my daughter’s scalp. So I injured my child to teach others…you’re welcome.
  3. Push it back – Start to brush your daughter’s hair in a straight line from front to back. What style are you going for, you ask? You’re going for the “combed look”. Anything looks better than nothing (remember this statement for future use). Continue to comb the hair back till you can’t feel any knots (when the brush goes through without hassle). Continue to add water as you brush. Remember water is magical.
  4. Optional Additions – Add baby oil to give your daughter that shiny “just came from the salon” look. People will be impressed, trust me. Also, if you are feeling adventurous, add a hair pin to the front. To add the hair pin, unclip it first. Then hold a section of hair that is straight. Push hair pin through and close it. It takes a while to master it but with enough practice you’ll be slightly better than you were before you started.
  5. Take a Picture – I can’t stress this enough. Your daughter’s hair will look its best right after you are done. You have to document it for proof that you did an “okay” job for when wife comes home. As time passes her hair will look dry and doesn’t have the same luster (yes I used the word “luster”). So take a picture and show the wife. It will also be useful for blackmail later in her teen years.

Congrats! You are done! If you have done each step properly, your daughter’s hair will look combed.  If your daughter has the same hair as my daughter then she will look like 80’s Lionel Richie. See picture for reference.

The great thing about being a Manly Stay-at-Home Father is that you get credit for trying. People will have sympathy for you…and who doesn’t like sympathy. Soak it in. Just remember, when the wife comes home and asks what the heck happened to her daughter’s hair…you respond “Anything looks better than nothing”. (Told you to remember it)

ArtisticWC

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Anonymous permalink
    02/28/2012 8:10 pm

    I like the idea of the water, sounds like a great tip.

    • Anonymous permalink
      02/29/2012 8:22 am

      I think this is hilarious. great tips!

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